I have noticed that most families of coaches share a Type A personality. Here is the definition of this: (wiki)
Type A individuals as ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, sensitive, impatient, take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving “workaholics“, push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence.
Everyone is my family has this going on. I wish we didn’t…I really wish that I didn’t. I think this needs to have overly competitive and heartbreakingly hard on themselves added to the list. Everyone in our coaching world have remnants of these qualities…there are a couple who do not go to all the games and can dismiss some of the hateful talk, but that’s rare.
Most of us wives have to take charge. We are the leaders of the family when dad isn’t home…and that is most of the time. Most of us wives also work full time jobs or have projects that are like full time jobs…and not to mention the children. Gosh the children, our group has 13 kids and I also have one more on the way.
My attitude has changed a lot this year…not always for the better but I am trying to get back on track. We used to be a part of the most wonderful small group from our church, but they meet on Sunday nights when the Badger Family Potlucks are going on. My coach has asked that I go to the potlucks instead of small group and I was very bitter about it for a long time. Not only because I was missing time with my friends from church, but I felt a disconnect from God. Like I wasn’t learning and worshipping like I have in the past. I also felt like it was a waste of time to do the potlucks because when we were there “together” he was sitting next to another coach talking about what they have been meeting about all day and spending basically no time with us. So that was tough. My kids love being with the other coaches kids though, and that made it a little easier to get over. I also learned that a place isn’t church and shouldn’t define my relationship with The Lord. Which I didn’t think it did, but I truly felt lonely not being with them. I realized that football season is a relatively short time. That I should be as supportive as I can. And be as thankful as possible that the person I love the most has a job he loves the most. I don’t think there are many people who get to do what they love everyday. He’s getting to impact kids and teach them more than just football. I know as a mother I would want someone like my coach leading my son.
I am learning to be a Type A personality where it matters: my home, our bills, my parenting etc. but trying to fit in some Type B personality traits here and there. Being calm, collected and savoring little moments with joy.