Last night I was having a deep conversation with my oldest son about love languages and how as a mom I have to parent my kids differently because they feel love differently. If you don’t know about love languages here is a link for more info: Love Languages As we are talking I had a thought that I have never thought about before. It may be old hat to you, but it was/IS new to me. I know that my love language is Acts of Service but I have only ever thought about it in the positive…my self-realization is: What about the negative?
As I put the kids to bed with prayer I go downstairs and clean the kitchen, make lunches, clean up the living room, finish up any laundry, pick up whatever toy has made its way downstairs, wipe off SOMETHING BECAUSE SOMETHING IS ALWAYS STICKY and then I can finish up my hot tea, shower, eat a nutty buddy, watch Roseanne and go to bed. But all that stuff up there at the top of this paragraph makes me bitter. I don’t want to do any of it. So that’s where the negative of the ‘acts of service’ love language comes in.
Where I feel love when someone is helping me or doing it without me telling them too…I also feel unloved when those things don’t happen. Sure it’s an annoyance that I have to do it (again) all by myself but for some reason I take it as a personal hit. I’m not certain that I like that about myself, actually I’m pretty certain that I don’t like that about myself.
So to negate these feelings I’ve been reading the Bible, doing bible plans and praying. I’ve come to realize that I’m allowing others to have control over my emotions. <–This is a big deal. I’m reacting. Ugh…it’s so unreal that I have to run through these things about once or fifteen times a year.
The thinking backwards was just my way of expressing that it is great to know your love language…it’s also good to know that when that language hasn’t been spoken to you that it can hurt, and that’s okay…but you can’t let it define you or dampen your spirit.