- Take the ACT as many times as you can. *SUPERSCORES* Those are game changers…you never know what score will go up…even a little bit. I have it on good authority that HSU (best school in town) takes changes to ACT scores all the way up until May. On this note: don’t be hesitant to take ACT prep classes. They are worth their weight in gold….they really do help and they give hacks for testing.
- Apply for the scholarships…all of the scholarships. Not just the big ones. Those $250 that you think are just a drop in the bucket and won’t help much…they help. Those four hour classes (think labs, biology & chemistry) require more than one book and those books are close to $200 by themselves. So having a couple of unrestricted small scholarships can really come in handy around the middle of August when you are buying all the things for school…including textbooks!
- Write yourself two or three essays that you can use for different applications. You can google the most widely-used prompts for writing them and adjust as needed.
- Use your network! If you don’t have a network, get one. By network I mean people in your life that can write you references that aren’t your momma’s cousin’s friend’s boyfriend.
- ^^To build a network…GET A JOB. I know life is busy when you’re in school, have a lot of extra-curriculars and church but you can always work on the weekends. Babysitting is the first thing that comes to mind, you can work around your schedule, set your own price and pick/choose who you want to work for. If you can care for someone’s child then I guarantee you’ve made a good reference and opened up your circle of networking a little bit more.
- Save your graduation money. You reallllllly don’t need a new pair of shoes but you will need a little trashcan for your dorm room…those cost money. Don’t make your momma pay for a little trashcan.
- Clean up your social media accounts…believe it or not, people actually look at them.
- Make a memory book. Print out pictures, save receipts, make notes of your favorite things & people, and have your friends write notes in it. I know it sounds silly but you’ll really love to have something in your hands in a few years…not everything needs to be virtual.
- This is kind of a weird one, but since you’re still on your parents insurance for a while…get the things done. You need braces, contacts, glasses, physicals, counseling etc. do it while they can still help you. Maybe you have great parents who always will but there is a chance that they might not be able to without you being on their insurance.
- This is a big one. DO NOT BASE YOUR EDUCATIONAL FUTURE ON A BOY/GIRL. I know you love them and they love you, but I’m telling you what…rarely and I mean rarely do these high school loves transition into good college loves into good marriages. Yes, I know there are some and that’s awesome but basing where you are going to school should be about what makes the most sense for you.
- Community colleges are fine, technical colleges are great, vocational schools are the bizness…don’t get blinded by the “you have to go to college” mentality. You do what’s best for your future. I have a cousin who went to lineman school and within a couple of years was making money that some us *cough*cough* ME* would just dream of making and I’m much older than him and went to school for what felt like forever. If you don’t have a lot of scholarships and you can’t afford a state or private school…that is okay and no one thinks less of someone for being practical.
- Try your very hardest to not have to use student loans. I am in that terrible statistic about the $1.48 trillion student loan debt right now. No I don’t have that much but it sure feels like it because I’ll be paying on it unit I am 42. No joke, 42. For a degree I don’t use. If that means asking for help, do it! If that means going to a school that’s not number one, do it! If that means working overtime in the summer before it starts, do it! Trust me, student loans are not your friend.
- Ask for help, people love to help people. There are whole departments in schools that are actually there to help you with these decisions…and if you aren’t comfortable with them then ask your friends (and their parents) who graduated a year before you. They’ve been there and they’ve done that too.
Did you know that the 2018 Arkadelphia Badger’s have EIGHT Captains?
When Ben first told me, I thought that sounded a little funny…but what do I know? The players voted before the season (after summer workouts) for the captains. Usually there are four, this year they doubled up.
During the season four would walk up, do the coin flip and shake hands while the other four would stand guard on the sideline. I thought it looked pretty cool. I also think it says a lot about this years group of Badger’s.
There are about 50 kids on the roster (before some freshmen moved up) and the votes were so close for the eight that are captains that they couldn’t decide which to give it to so it became a group effort. Which is exactly what this season has been…there is no ONE-MAN SHOW like there are at other schools. We have a team of players who do whatever they can to help their brothers and improve their lives.
For those that don’t know them:
Victor Tademy: He’s a smart, smart kid. He’s signed to play for Harvard next year. He’s pretty versatile being in all the phases of the game. He’s also looked up to by all the boys…my favorite is that he rolls up his shorts super short and a lot of the younger guys do it too…cracked me up every time I was out at practice. Obviously he’s a role model and a great football player.
Zion Hatley: He used to be my neighbor, so there’s that. Really though, he is an excellent runner and kid. He went from being on almost every play last year to sharing the RB role this year and it has only improved our offense. I think it says a lot about a kid to keep coming to work, especially starting out 0-5. He’s going to do great next year at UCA.
Josh Wallace: Probably comes as a surprise to no one that I would pick a picture of Josh that included my husband, Ben. Josh is the vocal leader for the defense. I kind of call him the QB of the defense, maybe you’ve noticed he’ll put kids in the right spot during plays. He is very football smart and I can’t wait to see what his future holds.
Alec Ruble: He’s a work horse. He’s not going out on a play unless he’s forced to. He comes off as quiet then cracks a joke when you aren’t expecting it. He leads by example.
Gabe Goodman: Best kicker in the state. I’m not sure if that is just my opinion because it might actually be true. We don’t call him The Weapon for nothing, having a kicker/punter like him has given the Badgers an advantage.
Carlos (CJ) Haynie: He has the most charisma of anyone that I’ve ever met. He is the personality of the team, he is loud and funny. He is fun to watch.
Cannon Turner: He’s the quarterback, he holds for the kicker, he punts some, he plays safety, he plays linebacker and for all I know he fills up water bottles. He is a true role player, he’s going to do what he can do make the team better. Also, he’s a junior.
Kyren Harrison: He’s quiet but a killer. He’s an incredible athlete and leads by example. He works hard every down and it is kind of scary watching him hit people. I don’t know how they get back up. He leads the team in tackles but he’s got several TD’s too. He’s only a junior too.
This pic has at least four of them in it. ^^
There have been one man shows this year and their ships sank. I’m so thankful that we have a true team. Every player, regardless if they are a captain or not, has their role. The Badgers would not be in the State Championship game if they practiced against scrubs every day. They are practicing against guys that one unnamed #1 ranked school only scored 14 points on. Every player is so important. I’m thankful to be a tiny, praying, part of this year’s Badger squad.
Have you ever wanted something that was a definite want and not a need? You just knew you’d love it forever if you could have it? Maybe you online shopped it, maybe even put it in the cart and almost clicked the final button but you just didn’t because it was too expensive or not the right time?
I was like that with Frye boots.
I know, of all the things, right? I need so many other things on the planet, mainly sanity, but I wanted these boots. They are so pretty but not in a frilly way, very real leather that looks so supple and nice.
Well guess what? I GOT A PAIR. Now I know what you’re thinking…how does someone on a coaching and non-profit salary (plus four kids) afford $300 boots? Answer: The Beehive. If you don’t know what the Beehive is, you’re missing out. It’s kind of like Goodwill but with mostly disabled people working there. It’s the best thrift store ever. You can really find some treasures, like Frye boots.
Well I get these boots home, clean them up a little bit, and set them to the side waiting on the perfect day to wear them. It finally cools off enough, I have some denim jeans and I’m ready to rock ’em to the Ross Foundation.
I put these pretty cleaned up boots on…and they feel funny. I look down and they look funny. I take a couple of steps and they even sound funny. They’re heavy and so not my style.
I have been eagerly wanting these dang boots for a couple of years, I got some and I don’t like them. What the what?! But it got me thinking…how many times does God gives us what we want just to show us it’s not what we need? Sometimes what we want is so not our style. God knows what we need and He generously gives it to us. On the other hand I think He gives us things we want sometimes to show us it’s not what we need.
I think some of us want to be rich, or famous, or well-known in whatever profession we are in…but what if that isn’t want we need? What if we got that want and it didn’t fit or wasn’t our style and it ruined us?
I guess I’ll move on from my love of Frye boots and stick with my Tom’s. Ain’t nothing wrong with that, but I like the lesson it taught me.
I love watching & reading things from this lady! She’s so “relatable” and super funny! I pray that she makes a million dollars doing her thing 🙂
I realize I don’t owe anyone an explanation, so I’d like to get that out of the way first. I am completely aware that I am not responsible for how people perceive me — especially when their perceptions are askew.
Full disclosure, this isn’t for them—it’s for me. Why is it important that I defend myself? In the grand scheme of things, it probably isn’t at all. However to me, in my life right now, it’s huge. It’s so huge in fact, that it’s keeping me up at night and overpowering my thoughts.
So I am putting this out there, and I’m doing it for me. In publishing this, I am giving myself permission to release the unbearable heavy weight of trying to please everyone. I can’t and I never will. So I will type this, and bid these feelings—and those who have fallen out of love with me, adieu.
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I just wanted to write you a little note thanking you for being my friend. I know that I can be so busy and sometimes (all the times) forgetful. When I miss an event that is important and you still text me and invite me to lunch, I just want you to know that I appreciate the effort that you are giving me (the person who adores you and is struggling to keep her head above water).
You’ll never know how important our friendship means to me. When you stick by me, send me funny texts and come to the games on Thursday or Friday nights and offer me congratulations, even though I have no bearing on the outcome, THAT support carries me to the next week, to the next season.
I know every wife and every life is busy and stressful but you know how I am, you know that I give my all to one thing and then sometimes other things suffer. Yet, YOU ARE THERE. Being a friend to someone like me must be hard, yet you are still there and for that I will be forever grateful.
Please give me an extra dose of grace the next few months and please keep me in your prayers. This season comes with extra pressure and I want to be my best for everyone including you. Please consider this letter as an invitation to every ball game (with the worst seats in the house), every football club lunch and every Saturday morning that you might want to have coffee with me before Ben wakes up. I need you as a friend and I need you in my life, even when I can’t be the one making plans.
If there is one important lesson that I have learned about friends and football it’s this: You can’t do one without the other. It’s as simple as that…ask any coach’s wife, this part of the year can be so incredibly lonely. Again, thank you for being my friend your love is more important than you know.
With all my love,
PS: Coach wife friends, thank you so much for putting up with me during the season and us being able to pick up where we left off. Go #badgerfam
PPS: I know I have tons of friends (which I am sooooo thankful for) I just need more pics with you 🙂
Well let us see here, the goal was to do “50 ways to keep your kid entertained in the stands” but I am the opposite of an over-achiever so I halved then subtracted five and am hoping I can come up with 20 ways to keep your kid entertained in the stands…
First things first. Don’t cry, no matter how hard it is, don’t let those toddlers see your weak side…they’ll know how to get you then…
- Pre-game. For adults only…I’ll leave this here for funsies.
- Snacks, it’s an obvious one because if they’re eatin’ they may be sittin’.
- Playdough. The stuff is terrible, don’t get me wrong. I hate having it under my fingernails or the bottom of my pants, but it can keep little people’s attention longer than Barney the Badger fo sho.
- Coloring books and colored pencils…forget the crayons, they break way too easy!
- Books. My baby son likes to read…there is sure to be some cute girl running around that I can get to read to him while I watch the game.
- A friend. This is for the older ones, but occasionally it’ll be closing in on the end of the fourth and I have no idea where a kid is because they’ve been playing some where with their friend.
- A grandma. My mom will straight up run around for the whole three hours of a game to wear out my baby son.
- Balls. Football, soccer, baseball, tennis ball, beach ball. Throw a ball up in the air and watch them go nuts, then beat each other up trying to get it back.
- Bandaids for ^^.
- Bubbles. Kids are weird. They like bubbles.
- Binoculars. These are fun for “spying” on people or for the hardest game of EyE-SpY ever.
- Camera. My kids do not have phones so letting them walk around and take pictures is such a treat for them.
- A pillow and blanket because hopefully #8 has kicked in.
- A leash. I don’t know about your kid, but mine needs one after a second pack of skittles and then they can just sit there…and actually watch a game. (I don’t actually have a leash but I sure wouldn’t judge you if you got one.)
- Make friends with a cheerleader…this may seem weird but all kids love recognition so when they’re down there cheering and they wave or yell for your kid it brightens their whole face.
- Water bottles. The whole flip the bottle thing is so annoying but I tell you what, it entertains those little suckers FOREVER!
- Have them write out their Christmas list. HAHAHA
- Bring a babysitter. Just one picked out person who has to chase kids around and make them stop *whatever*…I have done this but not until play off time because let’s be honest…if we are in the coaching world we don’t have money for something like this every week…
- Scavenger hunt. Rock, twig, penny maybe even a random bottle camp? Don’t come back until you find them all.
- A BONUS because my husband thought of this one…A fitbit. Put it on your kid and if they have a buddy have them wear one and the first one to get two thousand steps wins…and then hopefully they’ll be so tired they’ll fall asleep fast too!
It happened again. Summer passed and I’m sitting here looking at my calendar, writing in games, practices, meals. The squares are filling up all the way until December 8th (6:30PM).
The pre-season anxiety is filling my fingertips up with the weird feeling I get right before an anxiety attack tries to get me. I will do my best to work through it…but I am almost positive I will text Coach with something that sounds so depressing and slightly bitter before the first game happens. It has happened every year around this time, I wish I could learn from the past and be an overcomer but I’m not mature enough for that yet. The feeling is more than anxiety if I have to be honest, it is a mixture of dread, excitement, wonder, frustration and stress.
I tend to ride on the negative wave before season, I’m not sure why. I think it is okay to sit in those feelings and to really feel them and to live in them, kind of be lonely and be sad and be bitter…for a minute, but you have to find your way out of them. I don’t think one coaches wife will tell you that they’ve never felt feelings like that but the difference between the “good” ones and the “bad” ones is their ability to have the negative feelings but still face the world and your family with a righteousness that you can only get by knowing where your hope lies. We don’t need to stay in the funk because we don’t need to find our happiness in what our husbands are doing…we find it in The Lord. We can’t depend on our spouse to make us happy…that is a tough lesson but if you can figure it out sooner rather than later then you will be better off for it. If you can summon up the why…why you are called to this then it makes it easier. The why is because this is a ministry, try to remember that this season.
As much as I can I try to be involved, I think that is why this part of the year is hard. When the season starts we get to be involved: games, practices, dinners at our house, football club lunches, team pictures, festivals, all the things are happening that you fall into a rhythm of being without your coach-spouse-father-friend that the loneliness and stress doesn’t hit you as hard. Right now with camps and workouts we just miss him. We miss the players and we miss our coaching families.
As hard as it all is NOW, it won’t be long and we will be wearing long-sleeves, hats and gloves. Hopefully making arrangements for Thanksgiving dinner at the fieldhouse and having a Christmas celebration around 9PM on December 8th.
Until we are partying, follow us on Social Media with the hashtag #badgerfam.
Hello, how are you? In my best Adele voice. Which would not even be at all good. All bad. I shouldn’t even try, really. Okay ignore that. But yes, Hello.
Something has come up recently. Some one said, “You look like you have it together.” For some reason it has “shook” me. It makes me reconsider what I am putting out in the world for someone to say such a thing. Obviously the person saying this didn’t mean it in a bad way, and I’m not such a negative person that I even take it in a bad light, but I mean, come on. Does anyone really have it “together”? What does having it together look like? What does it mean?
It has put me on a thought-train. What does it look like for me:
People who have it together have love. People who have it together have friends. People who have it together have a church home. People who have it together have family who aren’t on the outs. People who have it together find joy in all things. People who have it together tithe. People who have it together don’t have a million dollars in student loans. People who have it together are passionate about a thing. People who have it together are kind to everyone. People who have it together don’t run out of gas. People who have it together know how to balance life/work/play/school. People who have it together cut their hair more than once every three years. People who have it together serve. People who have it together don’t complain. People who have it together don’t try to change things to make it easier on themselves. People who have it together have insurance. People who have it together have a good marriage. People who have it together fight with their spouse and stay home. People who have it together eat dinner around the table. People who have it together believe in miracles. People who have it together are bold and humble. People who have it together know which fork to use. People who have it together go to places where you have to know which fork to use. People who have it together love paper plates. People who have it together make other people feel like they have it together.
We need each other to have it together, if it weren’t for my friends we probably wouldn’t go out in public. My church friends are family. Our work friends are our family. There is something in relational groups that can help us all have it a little more together. Life is better that way, when we are doing it alongside people who are living life at the same place we are. There is also something to be said about the folks who are a step ahead…seek out those people and learn.
Just wanted to give a little shout out to all the parents doing the running around. I always think fall (football season) is the busiest season but really when it comes to time away from home and nights that we aren’t able to eat dinner around our table spring is so incredibly overwhelming. So I am tipping my lopsided hat at all you people making the practices to all the places, games in different towns, track meets 🙀(need I say more), meets, matches, tournaments, jobs, dance, gymnastics, try outs, church meetings and an even tippier of hats to those that do it with toddlers or baby’s in tow! It’s a wonder that our cars don’t fall apart or our diets don’t go down the drain (really, who diets in the spring 🤷🏽♀️)?!
Also, if you aren’t in this busy season of life because your kids aren’t there yet or have out grown it…remember to be kind. If you can, lend a hand. If you’re a seasoned pro, give advice! I know I’m always wanting advice from people doing life a step ahead of me.
Friends, if you are down and out and just in survival mode remember that chicken nuggets, no naps, no baths and no patience works fine too. You can be the Pinterest mom tomorrow.