Did you know?

Did you know that the 2018 Arkadelphia Badger’s have EIGHT Captains?

When Ben first told me, I thought that sounded a little funny…but what do I know? The players voted before the season (after summer workouts) for the captains. Usually there are four, this year they doubled up.

During the season four would walk up, do the coin flip and shake hands while the other four would stand guard on the sideline. I thought it looked pretty cool. I also think it says a lot about this years group of Badger’s.

There are about 50 kids on the roster (before some freshmen moved up) and the votes were so close for the eight that are captains that they couldn’t decide which to give it to so it became a group effort. Which is exactly what this season has been…there is no ONE-MAN SHOW like there are at other schools. We have a team of players who do whatever they can to help their brothers and improve their lives.

For those that don’t know them:

Victor Tademy: He’s a smart, smart kid. He’s signed to play for Harvard next year. He’s pretty versatile being in all the phases of the game. He’s also looked up to by all the boys…my favorite is that he rolls up his shorts super short and a lot of the younger guys do it too…cracked me up every time I was out at practice. Obviously he’s a role model and a great football player. 46482392_1781699965285982_8280351257655246848_o.jpg

Zion Hatley: He used to be my neighbor, so there’s that. Really though, he is an excellent runner and kid. He went from being on almost every play last year to sharing the RB role this year and it has only improved our offense. I think it says a lot about a kid to keep coming to work, especially starting out 0-5. He’s going to do great next year at UCA. 46330650_1781699741952671_1040917304512086016_o.jpg

Josh Wallace: Probably comes as a surprise to no one that I would pick a picture of Josh that included my husband, Ben. Josh is the vocal leader for the defense. I kind of call him the QB of the defense, maybe you’ve noticed he’ll put kids in the right spot during plays. He is very football smart and I can’t wait to see what his future holds. 44112914_1739628296159816_3316813396556382208_o.jpg

Alec Ruble: He’s a work horse. He’s not going out on a play unless he’s forced to. He comes off as quiet then cracks a joke when you aren’t expecting it. He leads by example.46334301_1781748131947832_6362377068381995008_o.jpg

Gabe Goodman: Best kicker in the state. I’m not sure if that is just my opinion because it might actually be true. We don’t call him The Weapon for nothing, having a kicker/punter like him has given the Badgers an advantage. 45494990_1770048933117752_3707106330398425088_o.jpg

Carlos (CJ) Haynie: He has the most charisma of anyone that I’ve ever met. He is the personality of the team, he is loud and funny. He is fun to watch. 46312938_1781757555280223_7826702728653963264_o.jpg

Cannon Turner: He’s the quarterback, he holds for the kicker, he punts some, he plays safety, he plays linebacker and for all I know he fills up water bottles. He is a true role player, he’s going to do what he can do make the team better. Also, he’s a junior. 46457954_1781711005284878_8952798434465677312_o.jpg

Kyren Harrison: He’s quiet but a killer. He’s an incredible athlete and leads by example. He works hard every down and it is kind of scary watching him hit people. I don’t know how they get back up. He leads the team in tackles but he’s got several TD’s too. He’s only a junior too. 44270144_1739614672827845_8584074727599898624_o.jpg

46258119_1781748095281169_5218948944737861632_o.jpg

This pic has at least four of them in it. ^^

There have been one man shows this year and their ships sank. I’m so thankful that we have a true team. Every player, regardless if they are a captain or not, has their role. The Badgers would not be in the State Championship game if they practiced against scrubs every day. They are practicing against guys that one unnamed #1 ranked school only scored 14 points on. Every player is so important. I’m thankful to be a tiny, praying, part of this year’s Badger squad.

 

 

Advertisements

What I wanted.

Have you ever wanted something that was a definite want and not a need? You just knew you’d love it forever if you could have it? Maybe you online shopped it, maybe even put it in the cart and almost clicked the final button but you just didn’t because it was too expensive or not the right time?

I was like that with Frye boots.

I know, of all the things, right? I need so many other things on the planet, mainly sanity, but I wanted these boots. They are so pretty but not in a frilly way, very real leather that looks so supple and nice.

Well guess what? I GOT A PAIR. Now I know what you’re thinking…how does someone on a coaching and non-profit salary (plus four kids) afford $300 boots? Answer: The Beehive. If you don’t know what the Beehive is, you’re missing out. It’s kind of like Goodwill but with mostly disabled people working there. It’s the best thrift store ever. You can really find some treasures, like Frye boots.

Well I get these boots home, clean them up a little bit, and set them to the side waiting on the perfect day to wear them. It finally cools off enough, I have some denim jeans and I’m ready to rock ’em to the Ross Foundation.

I put these pretty cleaned up boots on…and they feel funny. I look down and they look funny. I take a couple of steps and they even sound funny. They’re heavy and so not my style.

I have been eagerly wanting these dang boots for a couple of years, I got some and I don’t like them. What the what?! But it got me thinking…how many times does God gives us what we want just to show us it’s not what we need? Sometimes what we want is so not our style. God knows what we need and He generously gives it to us. On the other hand I think He gives us things we want sometimes to show us it’s not what we need.

I think some of us want to be rich, or famous, or well-known in whatever profession we are in…but what if that isn’t want we need? What if we got that want and it didn’t fit or wasn’t our style and it ruined us?

I guess I’ll move on from my love of Frye boots and stick with my Tom’s. Ain’t nothing wrong with that, but I like the lesson it taught me.

img_9107

so pretty

Parenting blogs are for the birds. Here’s another.

You’ve seen them all right? There is a parenting blog for every topic under the sun: Spank, don’t spank, yell, don’t yell, make your kid do chores, drink wine, don’t drink wine, read a book, don’t play on tablets or phones. It’s almost mind numbing how much “advice” there is on the web. So I would like to throw my hat out there…here are a few guiding principles and hopefully some links (that’ll hopefully work) that we use. Let me preface all of this by saying:

“If you are doing it in love, it is probably right.”

We are not our parents or grandparents generation. If you’re like me we are some weird hybrid of knowing life before it got all tech-y yet we can still learn new things when they come out every week. Our parents made us play outside constantly and didn’t worry about anything yet now we KNOW we can’t really do a lot of free-range parenting because let’s be honest. People suck.

So even though this is kind of like a list of things to do, I want you to read it more like: “here is how we do life, lets use what works and think they’re crazy on the ones that don’t.”

Chandler Principles:

  1. Use the bible as your guidebook. For discipline, for love, for everything. Read bible stories to your kids. We do this every night. Ben reads three bible stories then I put them to sleep with an extremely long prayer. It’s strategic but I think of it like this, do you mind when the kids fall asleep on you? Then I bet God doesn’t mind them falling asleep when I pray. YouVersion has an amazing bible app when plenty of “plans” for kids. Bible App
  2. We listen to a guy named Kirk Martin. He’s called the calm guy. It’s pretty straight forward, you have to be calm to be a good parent. If you are doing ANYTHING out of anger or stress then you aren’t doing it well. Let’s be honest, kids can suck too. So this guy lays it out on how to manage yourselves before you manage those pesky cutie pies. I’m linking to his podcasts because I listen to a lot of podcasts. Calm Guy Podcast.
  3. If you did number two and listened to Kirk you’ll already know that you have to work on yourself first. Second, make sure your marriage is golden. We have communication issues so we have to do a lot of backtracking when it comes to stuff, maybe since we know we have communication issues that will eventually correct itself…one can dream. Anyway I really value what the bible says about marriage and a good one to listen to is Marriage Today
  4. We don’t say, I can’t. Unless it’s I can’t get up today because I’m so tired…but only I can use that one.
  5. Our kids do chores. They don’t get paid to do those chores. There is no negotiating, bartering or trading off. Everyone has a job and a part of being a team is doing your assigned task.
  6. We don’t do games on week days regardless of anything. It’s raining? So what, read a book. You’re sick and at home, hope you like the VHS tapes in your quarantine time. You made all A’s? You’re welcome, I made that brain in my tummy.
  7. I don’t treat my kids the same. Yep, I said it. I’m not going to even pretend that I even like them the same. My eleven year old boy talking about smells and hairs is not going to get the same awws that my two year old gets when he says a word funny. You know what? I love them both so much, just not the same. And I tell them that. I also tell them that Ben will always be tops in my book, then them. My job as a parent is to raise them up and send them off to be good wives and husbands and all the amazing things they’ll be but living in my home forever, they won’t. But Ben will. And I’m excited about that day. I’m also excited about being a grandparent and more of a friend to my kids than I am now.
  8. BECAUSE You are the parent, not a friend. You’ll never convince me that that’s a good thing to be to your truly immature kid or teenager. Because even if they’re “mature” by some standards they’re still kids, and that’s okay. Be the mean parent until you can be the nice one 🙂
  9. We go to bed early. For us, not them. Our nighttime routine starts around 7:30 with baths…usually we are done with everything by 8 or 8:30. They get all the sleep we get time to finish the stuffs and then talk or zone out. It’s really nice.

Anyway, this list is not definitive or even comprehensive but it is a lot of what we do…and sometimes we do fine. Sometimes we do not. Also, don’t be afraid to try new things and different techniques with your kids. If you are reading a parenting blog or listening to a podcast about it then you’re probably doing better than 80% of parents out there, let’s be honest. So pat yourself on the back when no one is looking.

We have a strong-willed one who sometimes requires a whole lesson on childhood development and you need a doctorate to get through to her/him (I’m not naming names, but I bet you know already). If you have some ideas that we could implement comment me down there somewhere.

 

Side note: Today is my last baby’s second birthday. He’s really the cutest thing.

IMG_2305(1)

 

For my Yoga lovers.

Thoughts from a Coach’s wife after a State Championship.

A few thoughts from our winning weekend:
1. I feel like I’m giving away a state secret but here goes…. This year I never once prayed that God would allow the Badgers to win. I prayed for good health, safe travels (Ben drives one of the buses), confidence and for them always to play ‘their’ best and with integrity. The last three minutes of Saturday’s game I also prayed for supernatural strength….I’ll let you ponder on that one.
2. My brother-in-law Josiah or (Uncle Joe Joe) flew in on Friday night with Ben’s dad Robert. He had just been in North Dakota two weeks earlier because Ben’s older brother had been in a plane crash (he’s doing okay). So he’s been a jet-setter and he did so wonderful Saturday. Joe is better than us because he deals with life a little differently and he is doing just fine.
3. I’m thankful for the head coach we have. I don’t know if, before this weekend, most of the town knew how Godly JR is, but not only is he a man of God he is also well read. One of the things he reads is called the AAA rule book.
4. My husband is the linebackers position coach & special teams coordinator. Need I say more? Those kids are the bizness.
5. Not only did this game bring back old Badgers from ages ago it also brought in new Badger fans…including family we have in California, Texas and North Dakota. I think that is so neat that we had people cheering us on from all over the country. I have a feeling if Randle Thomasson had internet wherever he is in the world he’d have watched it too. Also, Ben’s mom watched the game in the airport in Denver!!
6. I’m thankful for Mark Burnham letting Joe Joe hang out with him Saturday during the game. He didn’t have to do that but that family has been incredibly supportive to our family the last three years.
7. My mom and sister have never been into sports but you know what…they’re super supportive and have been here to help me since the playoffs started. They carried my “side of beef” son all around that stadium and press-box Saturday. I couldn’t have gotten in nearly as many prayers if I was watching him!
8. I’m thankful for Robert Chandler’s coat. I sobbed on that sucker and it absorbed all my tears and makeup.
9. I’m thankful for every text, call or FB message I’ve gotten since Saturday. I literally had no bearing on the game but it’s still cool that people say nice things 🙂
10. We went to church on Sunday and our youth led the worship and I cried like a baby, again. There is something so special about kids worshiping The Lord.
11. I’m thankful for The Carozza’s spaghetti dinners. No cooking for us after church.
12. I’m thankful for Ginger and her family. Bobby Turner was loved, you could tell.
13. I know I’ve said it plenty but this group of Badger kids will always go down as one of the most talented group of players…Well one night earlier in the season I asked the kids what their grades were and how they were doing and one of them sheepishly told me his GPA was the lowest…it was a 3.6 or something crazy. So they have to be one of the smartest too!
14. I’m proud to call Arkadelphia home. The Badger fans really stepped up. I’m sure the attendance level was high but so was the energy. Such an exciting day! #Badgerfam is a thing for a reason.
15. I’m thankful for THE COACHES WIVES! We get our husbands (and the kids get their dad’s) back (for like a week)!
Okay I think I’ve rambled enough. Also, I could probably have a list this long of people we should thank who have supported us this year especially while I had surgery THE WEEK OF PLAYOFFS (whoops)! I also want to thank everyone for words of encouragement when the Badgers hadn’t won the State Championship…sometimes being close to it can be tough, but not as bad when you know you have people in your corner.

Side note: I do these little spiels mainly because my memory is terrible and I like seeing these pop up year after year.

A different set of Hormones

 

Great. I thought being done being pregnant would help my hormone “rages” but alas it hasn’t. They have just changed to something else. It has been a while since I have posted anything but football is just around the corner and that’s my prime writing time. Mainly for the venting and rambling and venting and rambling. Did I say rambling?

This past year has been a whirlwind. We had our baby boy, March 30th, he’s such a joy. His name is Conan. It’s pronounced Co-nin. Like Conan O’Brien. No he isn’t named after him, but he is developing red hair so that’s going to be great. *sarcasm*IMG_8952

 

When he was born the labor was intense. All day, nothing, then when it came time to push he was here in less than two minutes, literally. Coach hubby Benny boy delivered him, he wore the gown and all. He was so proud, I was so proud.IMG_6776[1]

It was pretty exciting until we heard how he was breathing. It was almost like he couldn’t catch his breath…all the nurses just left me hanging, again, literally. They went over and checked on the baby and sure enough he had transient tachypnea of the newborn (TTN)…so we spent the first eight days of his little life in the NICU in Little Rock (You rock Big Baptist)! UWTF2303

After we get home, one kid (& then mom) drop like flies with some stomach bug then a fever bug all in the next few weeks. So that was pretty exciting…I had one full week of maternity leave where there wasn’t an extra kid at home with us before I had to go back.

Then we make it to month three…baby Conan has been mainly a breast milk baby, which is hard as heck when you work full time, so he missed all of the sickness going around up until July 8th. The pediatrician had told us that if a baby has a fever of 102 when he is three months or younger then you need to go to the ER immediately…well that evening he had a 101.8 and he was three months and one week…so we called and she told us to use our judgement. I wanted to stay home, but Coach hubby Benny boy wanted to take him to Arkansas Children’s Hospital. I agreed. We go and they get us in and traiged and into a room super quick. They took his blood through his IV (which they got on the first stick, like the boss’ they are) and it all came back good. Then they wanted to do a Lumbar Puncture…I didn’t agree. I wasn’t happy about it because all of his blood work looked fine and all he was doing was being sleepy with his fever….well they all, doctors and hubby, talked me into it. So they did it. I had to leave the room, but it didn’t take long because they were able to get it on the first stick also. CHBB says that he felt the presence of God in that room because he was praying so fervently for them to get that LP done in one take and he said there was a moment where he felt HIM and the LP was done…anyway after a few minutes the doctors come back in the room and tell me that my sweet, sleepy boy has meningitis…of all the things on the planet it was meningitis. The lady who told me what it was had to tell me four times before I could wrap my head around it. It was like a bad scene in a bad movie…

“Your son has meningitis”- says the lady doctor wearing a Tinkerbell shirt and earrings, with green pants.

“What?”- the unintelligent mom

“Your son has meningitis” -says the lady doctor wearing a Tinkerbell shirt and earrings, with green pants, again.

“Are you sure?”- the disbelieving, unintelligent mom

“Yes, I am sure your son has meningitis”-says the lady doctor wearing a Tinkerbell shirt and earrings, with green pants, again.

“Umm…but…he’s…not…umm…”– the disbelieving, unintelligent, unable to forma thought mom

“It’s okay, he has meningitis and we are going to admit him”-tinkerbell doctor

So we spent the next four days cooped up getting our boy better. There weren’t many scary times, but we had faith he would be fine, when I finally wrapped my mind around what it was…IMG_8933

Ahhh…to the reason I even wanted to post anything today. All this to say that… I HATE BREASTFEEDING! He has been about 70% BM and 30% formula because I’m a slow/low milk maker, but even though he mostly gets BM he still goes and got sick. Oh it’s a no win. I’m sure he would’ve gotten sick regardless and maybe him being mostly BM helped him fight it off as well as he did, but in my mind I can’t help but wonder why I am putting myself through this. I get that it’s the best thing for him to have BM but man do I not like doing it. I know all of the pros. I know that I need to change my perspective and focus on the good. I do a lot of self-talk, people. I’m one of those that has whole dialogues in their head…but I cannot get into loving breastfeeding. So today I came into work and started looking stuff up on the interweb and I found this…About Nursing Aversion. It made me so happy to find out that I am not the only one. That it might not just be about hating breastfeeding but there could be a physiologically explanation to my agony (a little dramatic, I know).

Even though I feel this way about BF I plan to do it until my body decides it can’t handle it anymore. Football season is around the corner so that means CHBB won’t be around for about six months so it’ll probably be in those lonely, crazy, busy, hectic months that it might stop. Until then, I will continue to look up other crazy feeling BF’ing moms who feel the same and help me cope.

Type A Personality is a Must, but B is Better.

I have noticed that most families of coaches share a Type A personality. Here is the definition of this: (wiki)

Type A individuals as ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, sensitive, impatient, take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving “workaholics“, push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence.[4]

Everyone is my family has this going on. I wish we didn’t…I really wish that I didn’t. I think this needs to have overly competitive and heartbreakingly hard on themselves added to the list. Everyone in our coaching world have remnants of these qualities…there are a couple who do not go to all the games and can dismiss some of the hateful talk, but that’s rare.

Most of us wives have to take charge. We are the leaders of the family when dad isn’t home…and that is most of the time. Most of us wives also work full time jobs or have projects that are like full time jobs…and not to mention the children. Gosh the children, our group has 13 kids and I also have one more on the way.

My attitude has changed a lot this year…not always for the better but I am trying to get back on track. We used to be a part of the most wonderful small group from our church, but they meet on Sunday nights when the Badger Family Potlucks are going on. My coach has asked that I go to the potlucks instead of small group and I was very bitter about it for a long time. Not only because I was missing time with my friends from church, but I felt a disconnect from God. Like I wasn’t learning and worshipping like I have in the past. I also felt like it was a waste of time to do the potlucks because when we were there “together” he was sitting next to another coach talking about what they have been meeting about all day and spending basically no time with us. So that was tough. My kids love being with the other coaches kids though, and that made it a little easier to get over. I also learned that a place isn’t church and shouldn’t define my relationship with The Lord. Which I didn’t think it did, but I truly felt lonely not being with them. I realized that football season is a relatively short time. That I should be as supportive as I can. And be as thankful as possible that the person I love the most has a job he loves the most. I don’t think there are many people who get to do what they love everyday. He’s getting to impact kids and teach them more than just football. I know as a mother I would want someone like my coach leading my son.

I am learning to be a Type A personality where it matters: my home, our bills, my parenting etc. but trying to fit in some Type B personality traits here and there. Being calm, collected and savoring little moments with joy.

Christian Cleavage is probably the best title ever. Ha.

BUT Let’s be honest. Standards/Rules need to be in place in schools for people who have no sense, but when you think about it…what I wear should have no bearing on whether or not I have false motives or that a man can’t control his thoughts, that’s something he should work on personally. But it’s such a weird line, just like everything else about being a christian. Where you don’t want your brothers or sisters to stumble but how much weight should be put on a persons shoulders regarding someone else’s issues…I’m just glad there is a dialogue that isn’t exactly the same as everything else.

I can tell you this much… I wear the clothes I wear because:

1) they are cheap

and

2) they are comfortable

but there is never a thought that goes through my head where I think if I wear this dress people will look at me differently. Unless of course I’ve managed to tuck the back of my dress into my leggings.

Here’s the link to the article. I enjoyed it. I enjoy their magazine (Relevant) most of the time.

“Christian Cleavage” Probably Isn’t the Problem

A food blog. Yeah, no.

So I just looked all through this woman named Julie’s food blog. It is awesome. Very bright, vibrant colors that accentuate the fresh, non-burnt food she has plastered on there. I literally had a thought and then laughed in my head at that thought…

What if I had a food blog…

But you see, mine would be with a twist. It would be all the brownish, gray colors that my background theme is plus all the burnt toast, poured cereal and the twisted grimaces of my three children (plus husband) as they try my cooking. I think it could be revolutionary. A non-domestic goddess…whatever the opposite of Julia Child would be…a terribly, terrible chef…whatever the clever name could be…I can see this thing really taking off. It would by my mini-version of the pinterest fails site, but it’s actually my real life.

But then. Nah. I embarrass myself enough without adding it to the interweb.

Present.

“The more I obsess over social media the more I care about me…”-Craig Groeschel (lifechurch.tv sermon on compassion titled #struggles: Part 4)

Did you read that quote? When you read it again it starts to make more sense. He (and their group of pastors) were doing a series on the different struggles people face now in our “selfie-centered world” that people didn’t have to deal with a few years ago. One thing is a lack of authenticity. I think we all know someone (or we are that someone) that posts a lot of bologna on facebook or instagram. And I don’t mean actually bologna but we all know their life isn’t THAT great.

Two other components to the series was about a lack of compassion and then dealing with relationships. If you have time you really should watch all the sermons in this series. I say that because you are on the internet and you are reading a blog that you probably just stumbled on by a small town crazy lady who can only articulate about 4% of her thoughts.

What I took away from the compassion and relationship sermons was that you can’t just be someones friend because you comment on every picture or like every status. Relationships, whether marriage or friends, take work. About 99% of the “work” is just being present (and that accounts for the title of this blog.) When you are with your significant person be there for them. Don’t say that you are going to be there and not show up…or worse show up and then spend the entire time on your cell phone. It’s hard to be a friend but they are invaluable. I cannot count the times that friendships have just drug me through the roughest patches in my life. Sometimes they even drug me through them by my hair, but I will be forever thankful.

If you are married there cannot be a 50/50 attitude. It’ll never work. One person will never live up to the expectations of the other person. There has to be an ALL OR NONE philosophy. But really ALL not the NONE. You have to be completely open, honest and actually communicate. So put the phone, lap-top or tablet down and talk. And not what you saw on facebook that day. Gosh. If you do that then you are missing the point! 🙂

This is how Pastor Craig finished up the quote from above:

…”The more I get close to Jesus the less I care about myself and strangely the more I care about other people.”